Emile Thelander

Sometimes the safer place isn’t the place that feels like home.

Here, the house is solid. The roof won’t blow off. There’s electricity, clean floors, soft beds. Everything says “comfortable”.

And yet my mind drifts back to the farm. A weaker roof, no power right now, mud, dogs that drive me crazy sometimes – but they’re mine. That’s where I belong, even if it makes less sense on paper.

Home isn’t the easier choice. It’s the one you keep choosing anyway.

I thought I booked a house. Instead, we got two rooms, shared space, and the middleman telling me to “sort it out tomorrow”. Free parking means the street. Pet-friendly means arguments. “Entire house” means the owner downstairs, watching TV.

Everyone else seems fine with it. Maybe I’m the only one upset because I expected something different.

Maybe what’s here is already good enough.
But I suddenly miss the farm, and the rest of the dogs.

Being the one who keeps things moving often means carrying emotional labour that no one else notices. Organising, funding and smoothing chaos often falls on me.

Uncertainty is part of it too. Things aren’t always clear. The only way forward is to pay attention, make adjustments, and keep going.

Sometimes, all you can do is notice the responsibility and uncertainty.

I didn’t start this site to avoid social media, but I did want something apart from it. This is the anchor. Everything else is just an experiment.

I’m not interested in chasing numbers. Most people won’t stumble onto this space by accident, and that’s fine. But if I want anyone to find me at all, I’ll need to send a few signals outward. That’s where the experiments come in.

I don’t yet know who my people are, or even if I’ll find them. What I do know is that they’re not confined to my Facebook contacts, and they probably won’t all be hiding in one place. So I’ll test things, let some go, and keep circling back here.

This site is the quiet corner. Everything else is just the noise I choose to play with.

This site is my digital home, a place to share freely without the noise and demands of social media. You won’t find a single theme or agenda here. Instead, expect an eclectic mix of whatever I’m exploring, noticing or working through at the time.

Think of it as a digital notebook. Not a diary, but a collection of fragments and ideas that don’t fit neatly elsewhere.

This space is the centre. Other platforms, if I use them at all, are just offshoots – sometimes connected, sometimes just for play.